The
psychological need to eat, pray and love in Gilbert’s novel Eat Pray Love
and its film adaptation by Ryan Murphy.
Eat Pray Love (2006)1,
by Elizabeth Gilbert2, is a memoir of “a woman trying to heal
herself from a severe emotional and spiritual crisis” (Egan, “The Road to
Bali”). The novel starts with the collapse of her marriage, and with her
decision to spend a year abroad as a new start. She plans to spend four months
in Italy, four in India and the remaining four in Indonesia. Each one of these
places symbolizes a certain kind of pleasure she needs to go through, in order
to escape from the confinement and isolation she witnesses after her divorce.
As a broken woman, she psychologically needs to escape reality, and this is
possible for her only through the three actions of “eat”, “pray” and “love”. By
analyzing these three actions from a psychological point of view, one
understands Elizabeth’s need to experience pleasure in eating, praying and
loving, as a way to compensate the emptiness of her soul and life. Through
these actions, and through these new experiences, she starts a new chapter of
her life, being focused only on how to please herself, and how to be happy.
According to Elizabeth,
[h]appiness is
the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist
upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to
participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once
you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about
maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that
happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. (Gilbert 279)
All people, and in this specific case
especially women, should fight for their happiness, even if this will make them
leave their comfort zone and start a new life far away. Happiness is something
to be gained through effort, patience and determination, and consequently each
woman has to properly define her own needs, decide how to satisfy them, and take
the decision to gratify her own self and be the master of her own life. Elizabeth has decided to be happy, she has
taken a clear decision to be so, and she openly states this by saying, “I'm
choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the
unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises” (Gilbert 98).
Thus, in order to be happy, she
needs to “eat”, “pray” and “love”, because as a broken, divorced and isolated
woman, these are the three phases she has to go through in order to cure
herself. This idea of confinement escaped through pleasure is not only the
focus of the novel, but also of its adaptation into the 2010 movie Eat Pray
Love3. By analyzing the psychological needs of Elizabeth Gilbert
in both the novel and the movie, one reaches a deeper understanding of her
situation in a world where women are confined, repressed, and given no chance
to pursuit happiness. By doing so, Elizabeth becomes a symbol of all modern
women, struggling in order to be happy.
1. Elizabeth’s psychological need to eat
The first phase Elizabeth needs to go through,
in order to experience pleasure and escape pain is “eating”. The kind of eating
this woman needs is not an ordinary one, but she needs to eat with pleasure, to
eat without thinking whether the food is healthy or not, and to just eat
slowly, tasting every single ingredient, in a way that isolates her from
everything. Through this manner of eating, she creates a new world for herself,
a world of pleasure, in which her mind stops thinking and her body starts
enjoying.
According to the psychology of eating, “the
choice to eat something is influenced by a mélange of messages: how good
something tastes and smells, the time since your last meal, your mood [and] what
emotions or memories you associate with a food“ (Williams, “Hungry for
Pleasure, Hungry for Food”). Thus, eating is a conscious choice, and one chooses
a certain type of food because it has a certain meaning for him/her, and not
just because of its taste. Elizabeth has chosen to eat with pleasure in Italy,
a country for her associated with delicious pizza, pasta and ice-cream, and in
which people enjoy eating together, tasting good food, and giving themselves a
break from everything stressful through food. In her memoir, Elizabeth says
that in Italy she will pursuit pleasure, and she succeeds in doing this by
having a symbolic relationship with food.
She is deprived of love in general, and love
for food is the first kind of love she psychologically needs to warm her soul. One
of her Italian friends, ironically called Luca Spaghetti, gives her instructions
of where to eat good pizza, by telling her, “Please go to this pizzeria. Order
the margherita pizza with double mozzarella. If you do not eat this pizza when
you are in Naples, please lie to me later and tell me that you did” (Gilbert
92). By saying so, this man makes her establish an imaginary relationship with
this pizza, and she psychologically considers it a cure for her sense of loss.
Later on Elizabeth proves this by saying “I love my pizza so much, in fact,
that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love
me, in return. I am having a relationship with this pizza, almost an affair”
(Gilbert 92).
The way Elizabeth describes the moment in which she eats the pizza,
sheds light to how she exasperatedly needs to feel this pleasure, to how her
senses are indulged in this experience, and to how new this kind of pleasure is
to her. She says,
The dough, it takes me half my meal to figure out,
tastes more like Indian nan than like any pizza dough I ever tried. It’s soft
and chewy and yielding, but incredibly thin… I always thought we only had two
choices in our lives when it came to pizza crust—thin and crispy, or thick and
doughy. How was I to have known there could be a crust in this world that was
thin and doughy? Holy of holies! Thin, doughy, strong, gummy, yummy, chewy,
salty pizza paradise. On top, there is a sweet tomato sauce that foams up all
bubbly and creamy when it
melts the fresh buffalo mozzarella, and the one sprig
of basil in the middle of the whole deal somehow infuses the entire pizza with
herbal radiance, much the same way one shimmering movie star in the middle of a
party brings a contact high of glamour to everyone around her. It’s technically
impossible to eat this thing, of course. You try to take a bite off your slice
and the gummy crust folds, and the hot cheese runs away like topsoil in a
landslide, makes a mess of you and your surroundings, but just deal with it. (Gilbert
93)
By saying “[h]oly of holies” and “pizza paradise”,
Elizabeth shows her excitement and happiness while tasting the Italian pizza.
This experience is to her like being in paradise because she is experiencing
pleasure at its fullest. She describes the ingredients as if they are living
characters, doing specific actions: the tomato sauce “melts” the mozzarella,
the basil “infuses” the entire pizza like a “movie star” and the hot cheese
“runs away”. Every single part of the pizza has a symbolic and important meaning
for Elizabeth; every ingredient encapsulates an ocean of sensuous experiences
she has been deprived of for a very long time. The tomato, basil and cheese are
taking action in making her happy, in a way nobody else before has ever done.
This is why she considers them real, and personifies them in her description. This
concept is proven by Williams who, in her article “Hungry for Pleasure, Hungry
for Food”, says that
[w]hen
someone consumes food that tastes good, neurons fire in the brain’s reward center,
the same area that’s activated by sex and nicotine. This process explains how
food can be addictive, and why people get so much joy out of eating good food.
“When we eat for pleasure, the body releases chemicals that trigger
a feeling of reward” (“Why We Eat for Pleasure”), and this happens to Elizabeth
whenever she eats in Italy. For her, pizza, pasta and gelato - the Italian word
for ice-cream- symbolize the perfect triangle of pleasure while eating. Her
main aim is that of “fully absorb[ing] the prettiness of [her] meal” (Gilbert 77), in a way
that makes all her body feel its pleasure. Eating, for Elizabeth, is “like a
symphony: familiar and exotic tastes are combined in constantly varying and
intricate ways” (Anderson 103), and like music these tastes invade her body and
soul, filling their empty spaces with pleasure.
This
infinite love for food and the Italian customs and traditions related to the
pleasure of eating are made clearer in the movie Eat Pray Love. By this
different medium, Murphy has succeeded in making the audience personally see
the pizzas, pastas and ice-creams eaten by Elizabeth, see her facial
expressions and body language showing her real excitement and happiness, but
also live her same experience while seeing it on the screen. This psychological
need for tasty food is transmitted on the screen in a way that makes the
audience feel the frustration of Elizabeth, her loneliness and her depression.
People feel that this tremendous excitement about food is nothing but a way of
escaping reality, of avoiding thinking, and of creating a new world in which
there is no trouble, but only pleasure. The director is faithful in reproducing
the Italian atmosphere described in the memoir, by filming real places in Rome
and Naples, real Italian people living there, as well as choosing good Italian
actors who, through their Italian words combined with their Italianized
English, highlight the different culture Elizabeth is exploring. Moreover,
Murphy focuses on Elizabeth’s psychological need for pleasure, conveying the
same message of the novel, by making her use the same words of the novel while
describing her imaginary relationship with food and this is why the movie is considered
a mirror for the novel, aiming at highlighting this woman’s struggle towards
happiness.
Despite
the fact that many “critics say the
film cut most of the book's ‘self-realization lessons’ to make time for more
shots of Julia Roberts eating and loving her way through sun-bathed locales”
(Hartmann, “Critics Find Eat Pray Love Very Pretty, Very Superficial”),
this focus on Elizabeth’s eating is highly significant in understanding the
psychological development of this character, and it goes beyond the mere idea
of eating. It is an action dictated by a mental and emotional need, and, for
this reason, it is highly significant in the representation of the character of
Elizabeth.
2. Elizabeth’s psychological need to pray
The second curing phase Elizabeth needs to go
through is that of praying. Even if God is not a fundamental part of her life,
after her divorce, and after feeling extremely lonely and emotionally
destroyed, Elizabeth feels the need to have a higher entity to which tell her
misfortunes, and to which ask for help. She
feels abandoned, so she needs support and guidance, and God is the answer for
this need. However, for her God is not the Jewish, Christian or Muslim one,
neither that worshipped by Indus or Buddhists, but it is a mix of all these, a
metaphysical entity, without a clear name. God for her is a reference point, an
entity whose power is not only outside, but also inside her heart, and by
praying to this God, she satisfies a certain psychological need. Elizabeth needs to talk to God; she needs to
isolate herself from the outside world, by surrounding herself by spirituality.
For her, prayers are like shields that protect her from any harm, that block
any negative influence, making her feel safe. Elizabeth “want[s] God to play in
[her] bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on the water” (Gilbert 189).
From a psychological point of
view,
[p]rayer,
like meditation, influences our state of mind, which, in turn, influences our
"state of body". It reduces the experience of anxiety, elevates a
depressed mood [and] in influencing our state of body-mind, prayer and
meditation also influence our thinking. This prompts a shift in the habits of
the mind, and, subsequently, patterns of behavior. These changes, in turn and
over time, induce changes in the brain, further influencing our subjective and
objective experience of the world and how we participate in it. (Formica, “The Science, Psychology, and Metaphysics of
Prayer”)
When one’s mind is purified through prayers,
one’s body is purified too, and one’s perspective about life and the world in
general differs.
The
search for God is a reversal of the normal, mundane worldly order. In search
for God, you revert from what attracts you... [y]ou abandon your comforting and
familiar habits with the hope (the mere hope!) that something greater will be
offered you in return for what you have given up. (Gilbert 188)
For all these reasons, Elizabeth has decided to
go to India, a country associated with the spirituality she needs. There she
starts praying in sessions, in which people gather silently and pray together. Her
psychological need for silence, privacy, but at the same time of consolation
and guidance, are satisfied in the process of praying. For her, “half the
benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed
and well-considered intention” (Gilbert 190), and psychologically speaking,
this dialogue with a silent and invisible entity makes her transcend any living
experience, moving her mind and soul to another realm, in which nobody can hurt
or judge her. She is transforming from inside, she is discovering hidden
aspects of her soul, and most importantly she is focusing on her pain and on
how to cure it. This introspection is what she really needs to overcome her
present depression; only by focusing on herself, she can feel better. Thus, by
praying she externalizes her pain, and purifies her soul, and she understands
that
[p]rayer
is the practice of connecting to something deeper and more meaningful in life
[and that] it is rooted in a sense of spirituality. Prayer has two dimensions,
one internal in the form of self-reflection and self-awareness, and the other
external in a sense of connection with a depth, something bigger than the self
and an inner dependency with all the other creation. (Rad, “The Positive
Psychological Effects of Prayer”)
This importance of prayer is also emphasized in
the movie, especially in the scenes in which Elizabeth prays alone, applying
the teachings of the praying sessions. While seeing her pray alone, the
audience feel that this has become part of her daily life, part of her new
self, and a fundamental ingredient of her peace of mind and happiness. By
seeing her praying silently, closing her eyes, the audience is not able to hear
her, but is able to feel the spiritual silence. Elizabeth, and indirectly the
audience, both need this kind of purification of the soul, this isolation from
every routine, and this moment of silence. In fact, one of the Indian customs
related to spirituality is that of remaining silent for a certain number of
days. The person, who decides to do so, pins a card on his/her chest, on which
the words “I Am in Silence” are written. By doing so, everyone understands that
this person is going through a purification process by being silent, and needs
to be left alone. This scene of the movie is highly significant in emphasizing
Elizabeth’s need to remain silent, to make God feel what she has inside without
the need of uttering a word. She needs to touch her inner pain, to cure it, and
to start a new happy phase, and this is only possible through this kind of
spiritual habits.
However, this kind of isolation Elizabeth
consciously chooses is different from the isolation and alienation she used to
feel in her home land. This is a fruitful isolation, whose result is a better
understanding of herself and her own beliefs. She understands that, through
spirituality, she can heal her internal wounds caused by the hostile world in
which she used to live. She needs to follow the Guru advice of “[o]m Namah
Shivaya, meaning, I honor the divinity that resides within me” (Gilbert 36).
Despite the fact that while praying she feels
safe and purified, this does not give her answers to her problems; it only
gives her a moment of self-revelation, an epiphany. God does not answer her prayers, and she
seems even not to care about answers, and this proves that for her the act of
praying is simply a psychological need. However,
she does not say this openly, but she only highlights the fact that praying and
believing in God are by themselves more important than to receive any solutions
to one’s problems. She states,
The
decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the
rational over to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of
every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to
you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith
were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what
you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed
into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of
life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not
be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would
just be... a prudent insurance policy.” (Gilbert 188)
Ironically,
Elizabeth is not really embracing this notion of faith, but she unconsciously
uses the figure of God as a psychological escapism tool. Like for eating, she
projects on praying her own fears, her need to feel she is alive, her necessity
to experience new things as a way of discovering new aspects of her own self,
and all this proves that these actions are nothing but the only way out for
her. She psychologically does not admit that she does not have real faith in
God; who believes in God believes also in morality and in the need of limiting
excesses and pleasure, and since her most fundamental aim in life is that of
pursuing earthly pleasure, this make her habit more related to spirituality as
meditation, rather than to religion. Elizabeth believes only in what she needs
from God, who is just a figure on which to project her sufferings. In fact,
Courtney, one of the film reviewers, says that “[w]e see Julia Roberts
cross-legged and om-ing in a dingy ashram and some
lovely pastoral locations, but we never really get a sense of her inner journey
to...faith”.
3. Elizabeth’s psychological need to love
The final stage in Elizabeth’s
journey is represented by love. She has already gone through love for food,
love for God, and now comes love for other human beings. Since the men she has
loved have disappointed her, she decides to re-experience love in a different
place, so she goes to Bali in Indonesia, the city of love affairs.
Her disillusionment about love has been caused from the fact that “[i]n
desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they
be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to
perform the role we created in the first place” (Gilbert 28). She has projected
on her partners her personal needs, and since they have their own approach to
life, they have disappointed her, and making her willing to escape from them. She
has always been too optimistic, and she has constructed an idea of a partner
which is not present in reality. She has never given herself time to really
love, she has always projected a certain love on the person in front of her, and
psychologically convinced herself that this was the love of her life, while in
reality it has never been so.
After her decision to get divorced, and after she has started to
look inside herself, she states that
[she has] a
history of making decisions very quickly about men. [She has] always fallen in
love fast and without measuring risks. [She has] a tendency not only to see the
best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of
reaching his highest potential. [She has] fallen in love more times than [she
cares] to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man
himself, and [she has] hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes
far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in
romance [she has] been a victim of [her] own optimism. (Gilbert 28)
Elizabeth’s desire for love is something that links her to mankind
in general, because “[p]eople have a need for
intimate relationships, love, affection, and belonging and will seek to
overcome feelings of aloneness and alienation” (Varcarolis 39). This is what
has made Elizabeth fall in love in the first place with her husband, and later
on with other men; this need for love as a source of life, is also what makes
Elizabeth go to Bali. After experiencing the pleasure of food, and that of
peace of mind through prayers, she needs to feel the pleasure of being in love,
and one more time this is one of her psychological needs to escape from
loneliness and alienation. Her body and soul need love, because through love
one gains self-esteem and optimism, two ingredients lacking in Elizabeth’s
life. In the same way that pizzas, pastas and ice-creams were instruments for
her cure, she needs a man to satisfy her, a man that will put together the
broken pieces of her heart. She is in desperate search for a soul mate, which
is nothing but another tool to satisfy her psychological needs, a person having
a certain role for a certain period of time, and nothing more. She openly
states her opinion about this, saying that
[p]eople think
a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true
soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you
back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your
life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet,
because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul
mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to
reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose
is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles
and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so
desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then
introduce you to your spiritual master.” (Gilbert 161)
As it is clear from these words, Elizabeth is highly pessimistic
when it comes to love; she does not believe in endless love, neither in the
presence of a person able to love unconditionally. Through her past experience,
she has understood that her soul mate’s only function was that of making her
realizing her own character, with all its positive and negative aspects; her
soul mate made her face reality, destroyed her ego by hurting it, and broke her
into million pieces. His aim was that of making her hate her life, and then
feel the need to escape and start a new life. In Elizabeth’s opinion, this was the only
function of her husband, which is also the only function of soul mates in
general.
She does not
believe in platonic love, but for her love is just a means of feeling a
momentary pleasure. One should not be attached to another person, because by
doing so, one will only be hurt. After her divorce, she has started suffering
from gamophobia, which is the fear of being committed in a relation or getting
married, and this is why she considers love only as a pleasurable experience. For her being in Bali means feeling pleasure
in loving, but this love has nothing to do with being committed to a person; it
is simply a cure, a medicine she needs in order to feel better.
According to
Maslow’s “A Theory of Human Motivation”, a person is hungry “for affectionate
relations with people in general... and he will strive with great intensity to
achieve this goal”, but this need is for Elizabeth just a step, just a
psychological necessity. Since she is broken inside, she needs someone beside
her, someone to make her feel she is worthy, and someone who will even love her
wounds. She needs to feel that she is desired and that someone sees her
beautiful. “Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the
slave to your emotions” (Gilbert 142), she says, and consequently she does not
want to be enslaved by love. She has decided to start a new phase of her life
in which to find herself, a phase of self-realization and nothing more. She
does not need any kind of commitment to make her free; she just needs to
appreciate herself, and love is simply a step to this kind of appreciation.
In Bali she meets
a man called Filipe, she is attracted to him and, since she is there to love
and experience pleasure, she does not mind it. She finds in him the cultivated,
good-looking man of her dreams, and with the passing of time she breaks the
rules and really falls in love with him. One day, while discussing the notion
of love, Filipe addresses her and says,
Only the young and stupid are confident about sex and
romance. Do you think any of us know what we’re doing? Do you think there’s any
way humans can love each other without complication? [L]ove is always
complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get
our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It
means we have tried for something. (Gilbert 297)
Like Elizabeth, Filipe has been hurt, and
this is why he understands her fears. Their relationship becomes a cure for
both of them, and while being together they expose their wounds to one another
and help each other in healing them. Filipe supports her and accepts her rude
behaviors, knowing that they are nothing but the fruit of her defense mechanism
against men. “We use defense
mechanisms to protect ourselves from feelings of anxiety [which] arise because
we feel threatened, or because our id or superego becomes too demanding”
(McLeod, “Defense Mechanisms”). Elizabeth is afraid of commitment, she does not
want to go through a divorce again, and she is in Bali only to feel the
pleasure of love and nothing more. She desires Filipe, but she is afraid;
however, both the readers and the audience of the movie, witness a gradual
change in Elizabeth’s character, who finally understands that there is no need
to fear love, and that witnessing ruin before does not necessary mean that
everything in one’s life has to be ruined. Filipe, by being hurt before, is the
only one who is really able to understand Elizabeth’s situation; he knows how
to cure her, because he needs this same cure. By being together, they erase
their fears and start enjoying life, as it is clear from the romantic scenes of
the movie. They indulge in pleasure and happiness, and they forget all their
sorrows.
By
loving her, Filipe makes Elizabeth focus also on the love for friends. She
starts feeling she has to help less fortunate people, and she does so by
collecting money to buy a home for a single mother and her little daughter. She
explains this decision saying,
I told everyone that my birthday was coming up in July and that soon I
would be turning thirty-five. I told them that there was nothing in this world
that I needed or wanted, and that I had never been happier in my life. I told
them that, if I were home in New York, I would be planning a big stupid
birthday party and I would make them all come to this party, and they would
have to buy me gifts and bottles of wine and the whole celebration would get
ridiculously expensive. Therefore, I explained, a cheaper and more lovely way
to help celebrate this birthday would be if my friends and family would care to
make a donation to help a woman named Wayan Nuriyasih buy a house in Indonesia
for herself and her children. (Gilbert 294)
Linden, in his article “This Is Your Brain in
Charitable Giving”, proposes that “some
people take pleasure in charitable giving because [they] could be motivated by
altruism and the warm glow of agency and the desire for social approval”. Thus,
Elizabeth’s love for Wayan and her decision to help her is another form of a
psychological need for love. Love, once more, is a form of acceptance to her,
after a very long period of rejection and isolation. Consequently, Filipe and
Wayan become the two forms of love she needs in order to feel acceptance, and
even if as a start they are purely psychological necessities for her, with the
passing of time they help her internalize the real idea of love, in which
giving and making other people happy is an essential ingredient.
At last, through
eating, praying and loving, Elizabeth has witnesses a transformation journey
which has drastically changed her. After visiting Italy, India and Indonesia
she is no more the same woman, she has developed into a free mature woman, able
to chose for herself, able to find happiness, and most importantly able to cure
her own wounds.
Notes
1 Elizabeth is best known, however for her 2006 memoir EAT PRAY LOVE,
which chronicled her journey alone around the world, looking for solace after a
difficult divorce. The book was an international bestseller, translated into
over thirty languages, with over 10 million copies sold worldwide. In 2010, EAT
PRAY LOVE was made into a film starring Julia Roberts. The book became so
popular that Time Magazine named Elizabeth as one of the 100 most influential
people in the world. (“Elizabeth Gilbert”)
2 Elizabeth Gilbert was born in Waterbury, Connecticut in 1969, and
grew up on a small family Christmas tree farm. She attended New York
University, where she studied political science by day and worked on her short
stories by night. After college, she spent several years traveling around the
country, working in bars, diners and ranches, collecting experiences to
transform into fiction. (“Elizabeth Gilbert”)
3 The director of the movie is Ryan Murphy
who has also contributed in the screenplay together with Jennifer Salt. The
main actors are Julia Roberts,
James Franco, Richard Jenkins, Billy Crudup, Viola Davis and Javier Bardem.
(“About Eat Pray Love”)
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